So are they the Giant Douche or the Turd Sandwich?

I feel a nauseating sensation coming over my stomach, as vomit is beginning to rise in my throat and I'm losing control of my bowels. Yep, I'm in that very sickening and unenviable position of being a neutral college football fan who actually has to root for Oklahoma:


http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/BCSStandings?week=6


I can't root for the Tide because they hired a rent-a-coach who's bailed on every team he's ever worked for and will likely high-tail it out of Alabama as soon as things go sour. I can't root for Texas because my parents have a long-standing grudge against them that's grown on me over the years (except in the 2006 Rose Bowl; Vince Young FTW!). I can't root for Florida because I'm still kept awake at night by visions of Joakim Noah and Al Horford swatting away layup attempts by Ryan Hollins and Luc Richard Mbah a Moute. I can't root for USC because...well, they're USC, of course. And nobody else in the top 10 really has a chance of making the National Championship Game.


Oklahoma? They're the biggest whiners in college football history. Okay, even though they did get completely and utterly screwed by the referees in the one Oregon game, they're still complaining about it two years later. I don't really care for their coach. One of the most exhilarating sports memories I have is rooting against them in the famed Boise State game. They were the bullies of college football for decades. I really, really, really don't want to have to root for them.


But, then again, they have a long, cold, cruel streak of losing BCS games recently, they don't seem to have any juvenile criminals on the team anymore, their fans hate Texas too, and all the heartache they've received in this decade has to be at least some payback for bullying college football around for years and years.....right?


This is what you're forced to think about when your favorite team is 4-6 and running out a starting quarterback with 7 touchdown passes and 16 interceptions on the season. Please be better next year, Kevin Craft. Please.