Monday, August 17, 2009

Conclusive proof that Brett Favre reads SBS

Because I've been lazy and coasting on my posting duties lately, the current tagline for this blog ("Where we're convincing Brett Favre that he's still better than like 20 starting QBs") has been left up for 10 days now. Any coincidence, any at all, that Favre's once-dead career has now been mysteriously revived in the form of comeback rumors from his Viking teammates? I say no. Like always, Brett: I don't know if you're really back or not, but welcome back (maybe)!

Friday, August 7, 2009

A tribute to Dr. Dre

Well, here's a quick bombshell to drop before I really start this: That Joe Blanton-for-Andre Ethier/James Loney/Clayton Kershaw trade that fell through in July 2007 is the best thing that's happened to the Dodgers since 1988.

You think I'm kidding? If that happens, the Dodgers gain a very serviceable #4 starter for the next few years, and lose their best power hitter and best starting pitcher from this current team. And they don't really have a future either. So yeah, advocating that trade at the time is probably the most embarrassing thing I've ever done. That'll haunt me till the day my Dodger fanhood dies.

And the main reason why? Andre Ethier. Doctor Dre. Or, as he should be known by now, Doctor Clutch. Of course, "clutch" doesn't really exist (or at least to the point that most people think it does), but Ethier does seem to have a knack for coming up big in big moments. Over the last calendar year, Ethier has seven walkoff hits, a positively Ortizian feat (only without the steroids...or at least, I pray to God that it's been without the steroids, because nowadays you can never take anything for granted). Now, this isn't going to be a fawning, lovestruck, man-crush, Simmons-like post on Ethier (although, ironically, Simmons recently declared Ethier his favorite Dodger on a podcast, of course citing his "clutchness" as the reason why). Although Ethier is my favorite Dodger, I do know that I have to take everything in stride, and I know that he could easily be playing for the Giants in four years with the way baseball works now, so I can't get too attached to any particular player. All this post will be is a simple recap of Ethier's numerous walkoff adventures. Without further ado:

1. May 25, 2008; The Legend Is Born
With the score tied at 3 in the tenth, Ethier ripped a single to right to score Juan Pierre from second and give the Dodgers a 4-3 win. This was where it allllllllll started. Years from now, the only thing I'll remember Mike Parisi for is his giving up that hit. Well, until Jason Schmidt gets hurt and Ned Colletti signs him to a $100 million contract.

2. August 12, 2008; Against a Lefty, Even??!?!?!?
After the Dodgers acquired Manny Ramirez, Joe Torre stupidly started playing Juan Pierre against lefties more than Ethier, apparently unaware that Pierre batted lefty as well. In a rare appearance against a lefthander (J.C. Romero) with the game tied at 3 in the ninth and Russell Martin on second, Ethier laced a single to left in the ninth, with Russ barely beating the throw and the Dodgers taking the win over Philadelphia. Not gonna lie, the clip of that hit got me through some dark Dodger fan days (namely, every minute that passed from "Matt Stairs goes deep!" to "AND THE PHILLIES ARE WORLD CHAMPIONS!").

3. August 17, 2008; From Embarrassment and Dismay to Jubilation
After the Dodgers blew a 5-1 ninth-inning lead to the Brewers on a two-out, two-run homer by Ryan Braun, the entire stadium was silent as the bottom of the ninth got underway. But with Matt Kemp on first, Ethier brought the stadium to its feet with a walkoff two-run shot off Carlos Villanueva. This was Ethier's first walkoff of the home run variety, and the first time that the Dodgers had a dogpile at home plate that kind of seemed just a little awkward...of course, it wouldn't be the last one like that.

4. May 2, 2009; Who needs a sac fly when a single will do?
With the bases loaded and nobody out in the bottom of the 10th against San Diego and the game tied at 1, most Dodger fans figured that the win was well in hand. They were correct, as Ethier drilled a Luke Gregorson pitch off the right-field wall to give the Dodgers the victory. Interestingly, the Padres would go on to lose nine of their next eleven to fully and completely slide out of playoff contention after a hot start, and they'd end up trading or nearly trading every cornerstone of their franchise that summer. So did Ethier destroy the Padre franchise with this hit? It's very possible.

5. June 5, 2009; The most dramatic of all?
Quite possibly. The Dodgers trailed 3-0 early and 3-2 entering the bottom of the ninth, and Brad Lidge quickly got the first two outs to all but give Philly the win. But then...a single by Casey Blake. A walk to James Loney. An error by Pedro Feliz to load the bases. And then...Dre Time. Ethier hit a line drive to the right-field corner that fell juuuuuust out of Eric Bruntlett's reach, scoring two and giving the Dodgers a victory that came completely out of nowhere and was deliciously sweet. Of course, if Matt Stairs had been the right fielder reaching out desperately for the ball and missing it would have been deliciously sweeter, but you can't have everything I guess.

6. June 6, 2009; Just one day later?
Yep. Bottom 12, game tied 2-2 thanks to a Rafael Furcal home run in the ninth, last seven Dodgers have come and gone without getting on base...and then Ethier steps up with two outs and blasts a homer to center off Chad Durbin to beat Philadelphia again. Incredible. And yes, there was another awkward dogpile moment, in case you were wondering.

7. June 29, 2009; The marathon ends
Whew. One of the craziest games of the '09 season was finally put to rest by Ethier in the 13th. The first twelve innings went by with the two teams combining to use seven pitchers, leave 16 men on base, steal five bases, go 2-for-19 with runners in scoring position, and have six pinch-hitters...and after all that, it was an Ethier two-run homer off Joel Peralta following a Casey Blake leadoff single that finished things. Go figure. This was another personal favorite of mine, as my dad's coffee table probably would have been thrown through the window if the Dodgers had lost. So I guess it's probably one of my dad's favorites, as well.

8. August 7, 2009; THE most dramatic of all?
Yeah, I'd have to say so, even though I didn't see it live. Down 4-2 in the ninth, facing a closer with a sub-2.00 ERA (Rafael Soriano), having had numerous opportunities to take the lead and squandered them, two runners on, home run would win it even though nobody could seriously, honestly, been thinking about or expecting one...and BOOM. Line drive over the right fielder's head that got out of the park by a foot, if that, and then of course there was Matt Kemp jumping for joy for his buddy, and Orlando Hudson being Orlando Hudson, and Manny playing along with everything although it's sometimes hard to take his playful emotions seriously anymore, and...well, everything else. Just another Ethier walkoff, this one better than all the others.

May you get a thousand more walkoff knocks as a Dodger, Dre. Just don't ever have one as a Giant.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Schmidt = Babe Ruth

After Jason Schmidt's six shutout innings on Friday and his pinch-hit single on Sunday, I'm just floored. In a season where Manny Ramirez gets busted for steroids, Juan Pierre bats .900 for a month, Andre Ethier goes 0-for-June and still has a batting average above .270, Ramon Troncoso becomes Ron Perranoski, the Dodgers walk off with a win once a week, and Jason Schmidt throws shutouts and gets clutch pinch hits...I mean, can I get a "in a year that has been so improbable, the impossible can't stop happening?"

Sunday, August 2, 2009

The biggest emotional roller coaster of them all

Yep, the Trade Deadline. Every year now, it seems like the Dodgers' entire season revolves around the moves they make on July 31. In 2006, they were floundering in last place, with barely any pitching and half their team on the DL...and then Ned Colletti pulled Greg Maddux and (to a much lesser extent) Julio Lugo out of his ass, and the Dodgers went on to win like their next 12 games and eventually make it into the playoffs. And, of course, last year, the Manny trade ignited one of the dullest, most disappointing teams in Dodger history and basically won them the division. So, with the Dodgers up by 7 games in the standings on July 31, 2009 but still having some very glaring pitching problems, what would Ned Colletti do? And what would happen with the rest of the league? Here's a recap of what I can remember:

11 AM, EST: I wake up, unusually giddy. There are only a few sports days that I wake up feeling this way for. The first day of March Madness...January 1st for the bowl games...the day of the Super Bowl...the first day of baseball season...and the trade deadline. That's pretty much the list. Of course, today, I'm coming off a 4:30 a.m. wakeup which was then followed by 17 hours spent in airports or airplanes, all because I missed my initial flight, and basically ruined the days of every single one of my family members involved in the trip I was taking. So...maybe my spirits are dampered a little.

11:01: Nah. Screw it, I'm still excited.

11:45: I'm all showered and packed, and ready to just chill out and let the trades and trade rumors come. The biggest names rumored to be on the move are Roy Halladay, Victor Martinez, and Jarrod Washburn, with the Dodgers apparently feverishly pursuing Halladay to shore up their rotation. If they get him, I'm reacting like the little kid in the PS2 Christmas morning commerical.

11:48: MLBTraderumors is loading. Seriously, is there ANY better baseball website than this? I say no.

11:49: Already, a big trade: Jarrod Wasburn dealt to Detroit for two prospects, who are "fringe-good" according to most scouting websites. Not a bad one for the Tigers. Hmmm, wouldn't Washburn have been perfect for the Dodgers, considering their main competition in the NL is the lefty-loaded Phillies? No, I guess that makes too much sense.

12:30 PM: MLBTR has an update which indicates that the Dodgers are "pursuing relievers over starters," mentioning Mark Lowe, David Weathers, Matt Capps, Arthur Rhodes, and Jason Frasor as possible trade targets. When your bullpen is amazing, and your starting pitchers suck, the logical solution is, of course, to...get...more...relievers?

1:00 PM: Incredibly, there's still not much going on...and now my mom and stepdad are here (because my flight got in so late, and they were an hour's drive from the airport, I stayed with a friend of theirs), and frankly I'm scared to death of what their reaction is going to be of my missing my flight yesterday, since it cost them 50,000 travel miles and almost worried them to death. At the very least, I know that I can't be running to my room to check MLBTR every five minutes when they're at a friend's house. So I bite the bullet, and call my dad to tell him to text me updates whenever they come in. My Dodger fan life is now hanging on my dad's ability to text. Ugh.

1:07 PM: Tmobile online message from my dad (hey, it's something): "LET THE VINNY ROTTINO ERA BEGIN! ROTTINO FOR VARGAS!" I have to laugh. The Dodgerblues guys are probably getting a kick out of that. And Vargas wasn't important at all; this is almost definitely a cost-cutting move meaned to free up salary for a trade. My excitement builds.

3:04 PM: After waiting on pins and needles for the last two hours, another Tmobile text comes in: "RUMORS! GONZALEZ TO LA?!?!?!??!" I'm dying. DYING. Need MLBTR...Need MLBTR...

3:05 PM: No! I can't...have to put on a good show for the fam...have to put on a good show...UGH...

3:11 PM: We're now in the car on the one-hour drive to my mom and stepdad's house. Another Tmobile text comes in, and my hands are shaking as I open it, expecting a Shawn Estes-for-Adrian Gonzo trade...nope. "V-MART TO RED SOX FOR PROSPECTS." Eh. Good trade for the Sox, I guess, depending on the prospects. I relay the info to my mom and stepdad, both diehard Sox fans. Their reaction? "You've got to get to the airport earlier from now on!"

3:20 PM: New one: "ADAM LAROCHE TO BRAVES, JERRY HAIRSTON JR. TO YANKEES." Huh? Didn't the Braves just trade LaRoche to the Pirates like 5 minutes ago? And what the hell do the Yankees need with Hairston? AND WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON WITH ADRIAN?!??!?!?

3:25 PM: Another text. Okay, this has to be it. Maybe they had to throw in Loney or something, but this is definitely the Gonzo text..."ROCKIES ACQUIRE JOE BEIMEL." Or it could just be a trade that rips my heart out. I love Joe Beimel, and now he's playing for a divison rival? Great. Why don't the Rockies just sign Bono and trade for Bruce Springsteen while they're at it?

3:46 PM: "REDS TRADE FOR SCOTT ROLEN." Cool. What about the Dodgers????

4:00 PM: The deadline. And...nothing. It's alright, I tell myself, the Manny trade didn't offically come in till like an hour after the deadline. Surely, the Dodgers have completed some blockbuster, and Roy Halladay or Adrian Gonzalez is going to be throwing shutouts/smashing home runs for LA any day now. Right?

4:05 PM: A text! Okay, this HAS to be it. "Dodgers acquire Halladay, GONZO!, GONZO AND HALLADAY OMG!" or something like that. I smile as I open it up, get ready to party, and...

4:05 PM: ..."MARLINS ACQUIRE NICK JOHNSON."

4:06 PM: Yep, it's just now dawning on me that the Dodgers' big deadline acquisiton was Vinny Rottino, a 29-year-old Double-A catcher who was batting .250 in the Brewers' system. No Halladay, no Adrian Gonzalez, nothing. The Dodgers are now going to war with like 2 1/2 competent starting pitchers and a heavily overused bullpen. What a freaking cocktease.

It only gets worse a couple hours later, when MLBTR reports: "The Padres very nearly traded Heath Bell and Adrian Gonzalez to the Dodgers for James Loney, Russell Martin, James McDonald, Blake Dewitt, and Ivan Dejesus, but the Dodgers backed away." Hmmm, so they almost had the World Series wrapped up (Manny and Gonzo in the middle of the order? Heath Bell, George Sherrill, and Broxton sharing the same bullpen? Yeah, I'd be getting advance tickets to the Dodgers' World Championship parade) but backed away at the last second. Awesome. Last year they managed to pull the trigger, but...not this year. Go figure.

Things improve later that night, when July 30 acquistion George Sherrill makes his first appearance as a Dodger with LA leading 4-0 in the seventh in a two-on, nobody out jam, and proceeds to strike out the side. Jason Schmidt picks up the win, throwing six shutout innings (no, really), Andre Ethier homers and doubles, and the Dodgers pick up a game on both Colorado and San Francisco...but I just can't shake the feeling that they blew a big opportunity. Adrian Gonzalez AND Heath Bell, for a few young guys that were either disappointing (Loney, Martin) or hadn't panned out yet despite numerous chances (McDonald, Dewitt)? That would have been a freaking steal, and possibly a championship-clincher. Alas...George Sherrill will have to do. Go Dodgers, and may Cliff Lee lose his next seven starts.