Dodgers pound Lincecum for 15 hits, 10 runs in 1 2/3 innings, Giant franchise disbands

Just kidding. (But, if only...)

Really not trying to complain, but

Chad Billingsley: 7.1 IP, 8 H, 2 ER, 3 BB, 8 K, 109 pitches. Simply battled and gutted his way through seven-plus innings. A heroic effort.

Jonathon Broxton: 0.2 IP, 0 H, 0 ER, 2 BB, 1 K, 22 pitches. Walked the first batter he faced, then got bailed out on a great defensive play by Russell Martin, and then walked in a run (although he did follow that up by dominating Eugenio Velez on a K to end the eighth).

Will Ohman pitched a scoreless ninth and got the save.

So, between Billingsley and Broxton, who pitched better? Right. And who got credited with the win? Right.

(Great game by the Dodgers.)

Is it a good thing when your team gets soundly outplayed in a series but still wins two of three?

About to find out...

So close, and yet so incredibly fucking far

I've insinuated quite a few times that ESPN believes that the Dodgers are made up of two players, #1 being Manny Ramirez and #2 being Everyone Else. While that might be a tad unfair, I mean, come on...they have an entire segment on Baseball Tonight called "Manny Being Manny," always make sure to show highlights of him even at the cost of bumping a great outfield catch or clutch late-inning hit, and are contracturally obligated to mention his name along with absolutely every Dodger highlight reel.

Right?

Well, I just watched Baseball Tonight's highlights of the Dodgers' most recent game, a 6-5 victory over the Rockies, and the guys on the crew legitimately shocked me. They showed highlights of Russell Martin and Casey Blake knocking RBI singles and actually provided analysis on both players and their tendencies in the situations they were in. Then came the box score, when somebody actually pointed out that James McDonald had collected his first major-league win in the game and I nearly shit myself. All in all, a perfect highlight package: focused on the right guys and the right plays, provided thoughtful and insightful words on what the home viewer should take away from the game, didn't show any highlights of Manny because he went hitless and there was no reason to, and succeeded in impressing me (figures that John Kruk and Chris Berman were nowhere to be found, but whatever). A definite hat tip to Baseball Tonight.

Until, right as they were just about to throw it over to the next highlight, someone said:

"By the way, Manny Ramirez: 0 for 5, three strikeouts."

Ahhhhhhhhhhh...............soooooo close.

Wins are useless, Volume Six Billion

Your two pitchers in the Dodger game tonight:

James McDonald: 5 IP, 4 H, 5 ER, 4 BB, 2 K, 92 pitches, raised his ERA from 5.87 to 7.11. Gave up a load of hard-hit balls, got himself into trouble over and over again, generally looked bad. Made me start to have second thoughts about his fifth-starterhood.

Ramon Troncoso: 4 IP, 1 H, 0 ER, 0 BB, 1 K, 45 pitches, lowered his ERA from 2.35 to 1.54. Completely dominated, thoroughly shut down an offense that had been giving Dodger pitchers fits the previous 14 innings, got so many ground balls that all worms in the greater Colorado area are either dead or on life support.

So who got the win?

Mac, of course. And Tron got...nothing. (For some reason the box score credits him with a save, but I know better because saves only go to guys that enter the game to hard rock music in the 9th with their team up by 3 runs that somehow get three outs before dancing around like they clinched the Championship of the Universe. I assume the box score will soon be updated to reflect this fact.)

Congratulations on your first major-league win, JMac. May you take advantage of the terrible method that is in place for assigning wins to pitchers 299 more times before you retire.

Weird day of baseball

- I was utterly and completely wrong about Red Sox-Yankees. I'm sorry. ESPN, I owe you $5. Utterly incredible game, with Jason Bay hitting a tying two-run shot off Mariano Rivera with the Sox down to their last out in the ninth, and Youkilis blasting the walkoff job in the 11th. Suffice it to say, I'll be watching tomorrow at 2: RED SOX! YANKEES! THE RIVALRY OF THE CENTURY! ONLY ON FOX!!!!!

- Yesterday Chad Billingsley had another fantastic start, and is now 4-0 with a 2.05 ERA. ESPN.com's Fantasy Spin for Chad says: "NL Cy Young, here we come?" Uh no, and here's why: barring a season-ending injury or the Mets blowing a 54-game lead with 55 to go, Johan Santana will be the motherfarking unanimous NL Cy Young Award winner. After his 6 IP, 1 ER, 1 BB, 10 K game today, he's at 3-1, 0.70 ERA, 0.90 WHIP, .181 BAA, 37 Ks and 6 walks in 25.2 IP. Honestly, I have no clue what Santana's ceiling is now. 1999 Pedro Martinez?

- Everyone is falling over themselves trying to tell people not to get too excited about the Blue Jays and Mariners (both comfortably on top of their divisions against all odds), and now that I've come out and praised them they'll all probably end up looking like geniuses. But it's still worth pointing out that the Blue Jays thwacked the White Sox 14-0 today, and the Mariners settled for a slightly less comforting 8-3 win. The Blue Jays' record now stands at 13-5, 2 games ahead of the Red Sox (with their +46 run differential currently the best in baseball), while the Mariners are at 11-6 and 3.5 games ahead of Texas with every other AL West team looking like complete crap. (Including the Angels, who could very well end up becoming the saddest story of the season; all of their best players are getting hurt and they have to deal with the tragic Nick Adenhart situation? Just awful.)

- Speaking of surprise teams, Kansas City Royal fans should live this up while they can; after yet another dominant outing by Zack Greinke, they're 9-7 and at the top of the division by one game over both Chicago and Detroit. Hey, if Greinke allows one (unearned) run every 38 innings, they might have a shot.

- Now a reeling team: I give you the Diamondbacks! This is how bad their offense is right now: After his 1-for-4 game today, Stephen Drew actually raised his average to .205--and that's better than four of the other starters in the Dback lineup. As of right now, the Diamondbacks have 0 starting outfielders batting higher than .197. Of course batting average isn't everything, and of course your batting averages are going to drop after you just faced (a rejuvanated) Tim Lincecum, but still, wow. They're currently 6-10, and it's amazing that they've won that many games with their current offense and without Brandon Webb.

- ESPN rarely gets anything right, but their recent commercial depicting Albert Pujols as a Terminator-like figure is pretty dead-on. Since everything's already been said about him, I'll keep it simple. I just looked up Pujols' stat line on ESPN.com: .355 batting average, .462 OBP, .710 SLG, 13 walks to 4 strikeouts, 10 extra-base hits in 62 atbats...and I'm completely unamazed.

- And Pujols' team? In the "other" great rivalry in baseball (Cubs-Cards), the Redbirds stole a 4-3 victory...literally, as Pujols singled and stole second in the eighth before coming in on a Ryan Ludwick single to break a 3-3 tie. Ludwick, who most were writing off as a fluke before the season, is currently the only Cardinal with a stat line that can match up to Fat Albert's (.364/.390/.691). Those two guys along with Yadier Molina (???) are spearheading a suddenly vicious Cardinal offense that's helped the team to a 12-5 start. Since there's a 101% chance that the Cubs trade for Jake Peavy in July, I wouldn't get too excited, but it's still a pretty good story.

- Yeah, the Dodger offense is pretty good; you've probably heard that from multiple sources (including me). Furcal, O-Dog/Cyclist Hudson, Manny Being Manny, Some Guys Who Are Only Good Because Manny's On The Team (Ethier, Kemp, Loney), A Pretty Good Hitter With A Beard Who ZOMG Is Hitting Eighth (Casey Blake)...yeah, they're not too bad. If I told you that the Dodgers were led to a victory they very much didn't deserve against the Rockies tonight by one of their hitters sparking go-ahead rallies in the eighth and ninth, 99.9% of the baseball world would think that hitter was Manny, right? (The other 0.01% would think either Kirk Gibson or Sandy Koufax). No, it wasn't Manny. Or Hudson. Or Furcal. No...it was a guy who many thought wouldn't hit better than most pitchers this year. Brad Ausmus, Russell Martin's backup catcher, scored the go-ahead run in the 8th inning after hitting a two-run double and scoring on a Mark Loretta single, and then hit a two-out RBI single in the ninth to plate another go-ahead run after Hong-Chih Kuo blew the lead in the bottom of the eighth. Ausmus is now hitting .417, and not to be outdone, fellow bench player Mark Loretta is checking in at an even .500 through 12 ABs. Fuck, even Eric Stults walked twice in the game. What next, Tommy Lasorda hits a pinch-hit grand slam off Brad Lidge?

- And just as I was typing this, another great story (although another one not likely to hold up over the long haul) continued in San Diego as a Brian Giles RBI single in the 11th allowed the Padres to beat the Pirates 4-3 and move the Pod People to 10-6 on the season, when most had them figured for 0-16 at this point.


Funny thing, the first few weeks of the baseball season, huh?

And you can't forget Senators-Browns either

It's incredible that the mainstream media still pimps Red Sox-Yankees as "The Most Bitter Rivalry in Sports." Hell, the Red Sox brawl with the Rays every fucking year; I guarantee they dislike Tampa Bay way more than the Yankees. Yeah, Boston-New York games tend to be much better-played and more competitive than regular games, but does that mean that the two teams legitimately hate each other like everyone tries to argue? No. It's a rivalry, but it's definitely not the most bitter rivalry in sports (come on, any college rivalry, especially Duke-UNC and USC-Notre Dame, is much more bitter than any professional rivalry). It's not even the most bitter rivalry in the MLB; I would argue that Phillies-Mets has easily surpassed it. They're always trash-talking each other, they always finish 1-2 in the East, and their fans have just as much hate for each other as Red Sox and Yankee fans do. I'll probably watch some of the upcoming Boston-Yankee series, but I'm going to plan to watch as much of the first Phillie-Met series as I can. Take that, ESPN!

And of course, the Dodgers score 9 runs

On me. All on me. I cleverly figured that if I praised Aaron Cook, insulted Joe Torre, and made fun of the depleted Dodger lineup, that Andre Ethier and Manny Ramirez would both hit two home runs and lead the Dodgers to an easy win over the Rockies. And they did. I mean, how smart am I? Seriously?

PS: Watch the Dodgers get 2 hits today with all their regulars back in the lineup.

PPS: (Wink)

Grady Little sneaks into Dodger Stadium, kidnaps Joe Torre, makes today's lineup himself

I like Grady Little as a person, but he's just not a good manager, as Dodger fans and (especially) Red Sox fans can attest. While managing the Red Sox, he had the, um, knack for replacing his key hitters (Ortiz, Manny, Nixon, etc) for pinch runners/defensive replacements in like the 6th/7th inning only to have their spots in the order come up 10 minutes later at a critical point in the game. And as a Dodger manager, his running gag was resting 8 of his starters on a given day instead of spacing out their rest over the course of the week, leading to situations where like Ricky Ledee would lead off and Mark Sweeney would bat cleanup. I mean, it got to the point where you really believed that his thought process was, "Brandon Webb's pitching against us today? Fuck it, we're going to lose anyway, might as well give Kent, Drew, Furcal, and Ethier all the day off and let them rest up for the World Series." Just stupid, crazy strategy. Again, like Grady as a person, but oh so glad that he's not managing my favorite team anymore.

Or is he? Lineup for today's game:

2B Hudson
RF Ethier
LF Manny
1B Loney
CF Kemp
3B Dewitt
C Ausmus
SS Castro
Pitcher's spot

Ugh. Well, at least the Dodgers are going against some poor Colorado schmuck like Pedro Astacio or Mike Hampton, right? Wrong. They're facing Aaron Cook, the only Rockie starter who doesn't give up 19 runs a game. In fact, last year he put up one of the best seasons ever by a Coors Field-hampered starting pitcher (16-9, 3.96 ERA, 1.34 WHIP, .287 BAA).

The Grady Watch continues.

Like watching "Shakespeare in Love" win Best Picture, only for 3 1/2 hours

The Dodgers had no business winning tonight's game. Down 3-0 after the top of the first, left 480 guys on base including 479 in scoring position, looked like shit for six innings against a dude who came into the game with a 9.64 ERA, had their second-best reliever give up two walks and a hit in a third of an inning at a critical point in the game...and still won. Unfreakingbelievable. And there's more: Andre Ethier starts his night out with three atbats that can be best summed up by the phrase "fucking Little Leaguers would be embarrassed by that shit"...and in his fourth atbat, he knocks in the tying run with a double. Almost immediately following that, Mark Loretta literally throws his bat at a two-strike pitch out of complete desperation...and somehow connects for a go-ahead bloop single. Just a weird, weird, weird game, one that the pre-Manny Dodgers probably win negative-5 times out of 100. Make sure you watch Game 2 of this Colorado series, coming up on FOX in about three hours.

He's playing as loose as ever, he's not pressing, he's batting .371, and he's comfortable

So let's put 100,000 times more pressure on him and move him to the cleanup spot, am I right? Apparently so, because after hitting seventh for the first 10 games of the season (and getting at least one hit in every one of them), Matt Kemp has been shifted up to fourth.

Now.

A fair number of wise, statistically-minded fellows (mother's-basement-dwelling stat geeks, for the Jon Heymans of the world) will read this and respond angrily. They'll hit me with, "Are you seriously complaining about Joe Torre trying to maximize the number of ABs that his hottest hitter is getting?" to which I will respond, "Yes, you Star-Trek-loving know-it-all. Go have your mom make you an egg-white omelette so you can draw math formulas into it, loser." 

But on a more serious note: I think Kemp is a different case than most. He's had a ginormous amount of pressure on him ever since his 7-HR-in-his-first-15-ML-games explosion in 2006, and basically from then until the end of the 2008 season he's been pressing at the plate; taking huge home run swings no matter the count, biting on 3-2 curveballs in the dirt, etc. Through sheer talent and tools alone, he put up a great 2007 season in limited action and followed it up with a decent 2008, but the flaws in his offensive game were evident.

2009 seems different. I've watched pretty much every inning of every Dodger game so far this year, and whether it's the calming presence of Manny Ramirez, the new contact lenses he got in the offseason, or simply experience, Matt Kemp is a completely different hitter. He's still somewhat of a free swinger, but he's seeing more pitches (4.33 P/PA compared to 3.72 last year) and having many more productive ABs. It's still very early, of course, but this version of Matt Kemp looks a lot like the guy everyone thought he'd become when he was tearing up the minors in 2005. And honestly, I think it's because he's comfortable hitting seventh. He knows he doesn't have to do too much and that he can just relax and not worry about hitting home runs every time. Bump him up to fourth, and it's possible that he starts pressuring himself to be a "true" cleanup hitter, which will lead to worse ABs and, therefore, inferior production. Numbers-wise, the move makes sense, but contrary to what you may have heard from 75-year-old beat writers that just lost their newspaper jobs to 30-year-olds who know what "VORP" means, baseball isn't now being organized and played by a bunch of computerized automatons; there is still a human element to it. And I wonder if this lineup change might affect Kemp negatively.

Of course, if he goes 5-for-6 tonight with three homers, forget I ever brought it up.

Wins:Vital Baseball Statistic::Wisdom Teeth:Vital Body Organ

Example:

Gavin Floyd: 17 wins in 2008
Johan Santana: 16 wins in 2008

Who was the better pitcher? Right, the guy with fewer wins. Here's another one.

Jon Garland: 14 wins in 2008
Scott Kazmir: 12 wins in 2008

Again, not even close.

Cy Young Award example: In 2005, Johan Santana was the best, most dominant pitcher on the planet (2.87 ERA, 45 walks against 238 Ks in 231.2 IP, 0.97 WHIP), although coming in a somewhat close second was Mariano Rivera (0.87 WHIP, .177 BAA, 50 hits allowed in 78.1 IP, 18 walks against 80 Ks). But Bartolo Colon, checking in at 8th in the AL in ERA and 8th in strikeouts and probably not one of the two best pichers on his own team, won the Cy Young Award because his bullpen was good enough to preserve 21 wins for him.

Starting to see how ridiculous this is? It's like Fire Joe Morgan always said: "If a pitcher gives up 19 runs in 5 innings but his team scores 20, he gets a win, and if a pitcher gives up 1 run in 9 innings but his team scores 0, he gets a loss. Wins are an absolutely terrible way to measure pitchers. Hatguy needs to choke on an ice cream sundae."

Why do I bring this up now? Oh, only because Clayton Kershaw pitched the most dominant seven innings of his career last night, striking out 13 and giving up just one hit and one run...and failed to get the win. Why? Because the Dodgers somehow managed just one run in a first inning where they got two hits and three walks, and then only scored one more run for the next six innings. So when Hong-Chih Kuo took over for Clay in the top of the eighth, the Dodgers had only a 2-1 lead. Kuo promptly hit a batter and then gave up a single, putting runners at the corners with no outs. Joe Torre then wisely chose not to use one of his three best available relievers in the tightest of tight spots, bringing in unproven rookie Ronald Belisario, and Aaron Rowand's three-run homer was practically inevitable.

Belisario then got out of the inning, and the Dodgers tied the game in the bottom of the eighth. Jonathon Broxton threw a great top of the ninth and the Dodgers won it in the bottom of the inning, so the win went to JB. Who pitched very well, yes...but for one inning, whereas Kershaw pitched very well for seven innings. Who was more deserving of the win? Exactly. And who got credited with the win? Exactly.

I think we should go American Idol on this win-crediting business; have a panel of baseball guys watch the entire game (with the panel preferably including one insufferable British jackass and one semi-attractive cougar who always seems drunk), and then have all of the pitchers who pitched from the winning team bow down in front of them at game's end and get empty, stupid, unhelpful feedback about their performances for 55 God-awful minutes before finally learning who really "won" the game. Hey, it's a solution. So long as Ryan Seacrest remains 10,000 miles away from it at all times.

I take it all back

Orlando Hudson should hit in front of Manny. Forever.

PS: RIP Harry Kalas and Mark Fidrych...has there ever been a more tragic beginning to the baseball season than this?

Fuck PPG, RPG, APG, etc; HERE'S how you decide the NBA MVP!

It's a very simple formula: who scored the most points against the Knicks this year?

Kobe: 61
Wade: 55
Lebron: 52

There's your final MVP standings, folks!

PS: How has Madison Square Garden not been burned to the ground by a group of bitter, drunk Knicks fans yet? Maybe it'll happen after they miraculously win the NBA lottery and then draft Brandon Jennings. Hell, they'd burn down the entire Western Hemisphere if that happened.

Happy Easter

And may you all root for the Dodgers go 4-3 over every seven-game stretch from here on out to finish at 93-69, a record which will almost definitely allow them to reach the playoffs. Bring Back the Big Blue Machine, Baby!

Marlon Anderson DFA'd by the Mets, career likely over

And since that's the case, he'll go down in history as the one Dodger that never disappointed me. Not even once. In fact, he did much more than that:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1unPeh-C3Y

Thanks for not sucking, Marlon. You were one in a million.

I hate it when the Dodgers get off to a slow start

Not just because I'm a fan, but because I just know that if they start like 4-6 then the mainstream media will jump all over them and call them the biggest busts in the history of busting busts that bust a lot, where in reality it's been two fucking weeks and they have an entire season to turn things around. I've said it for 119 consecutive seasons, and I'll say it again: call me if they're still a .400 team in mid-May.

RIP Nick Adenhart

It's always sad when a professional athlete dies young, but when one has so much promise and so much to potentially give on the field, as well as so much to live for off of it...it's just terrible. And he didn't go by way of a drug overdose, a suicide, or any self-inflicted method: he died in a car accident that was in no way his fault. The flags at every baseball stadium today should be flown at half-mast. The sporting world, the Angel organization, the city of Los Angeles, and the entire country will be mourning today. Thoughts and prayers to the Adenhart family and the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

Arizona lost 14 games last year, got blown out by 39 points in the Sweet Sixteen, and will almost definitely lose their two best players to the NBA

But who cares! Take me away from my lovable, dynastic, consistently overachieving mid-major program and sign me up for the Cats baby! Party in Tucson tonight bro! WOOOOOOOO!!!!

The Curious Case of Joe Torre's Weird-Ass Lineups

For tonight, against Padre starter Chris Young, ol' Joe's rolling out the same lineup he used on Opening Day:

Furcal, SS
Hudson, 2B
Manny, LF
Ethier, RF
Martin, C
Loney, 1B
Kemp, CF
Blake, 3B
Pitcher's spot

And Andre Ethier's not hitting in front of Manny...why, again?

March Madness is over, but

I'm just going to offer further congratulations to North Carolina for their amazingly dominant tourney run, the best I've ever seen. Well, at least until 2010 when UCLA'll go late-'60s Wooden on everyone's ass.

Dodger pitching staff gives up 74 runs, but Manny Ramirez hits 75 solo homers and Dodgers win

Just kidding. But based on all the offseason analysis regarding the Dodgers, you had to expect something like that, right?

The Dodgers did win, 4-1. Hiroki Kuroda pitched 5.2 solid innings, and was aided by an idiotic sac bunt in the first inning by David Eckstein; it led to a run, but also pretty much ended one of the only Padre rallies of the game. Thanks for the help, guys! On offense, most of the production came from the youngins, as Andre Ethier, James Loney, and Matt Kemp combined to go 6-for-11 with all 4 RBIs as the Dodgers beat Jake Peavy for the first time in something like 50 years. But that's all just irrelevant babble. Here's all you, the common fan, need to know about the game from a Dodger standpoint: Manny Ramirez went 0-for-3. NOOOOO!!!!!!!

Other Opening Day notes:
- Johan Santana is still fucking awesome, just in case anyone was wondering.
- Ken Griffey Jr. homered in his first game back as a Mariner. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
- Nobody, absolutely nobody, was beating North Carolina in the NCAA Tournament. Several NBA teams would have gotten blown out by them. Congrats to the Heels, especially their four starters that skipped the NBA Draft to try and win a title. Gotta love guys like that.
- One strike away from losing, the Pirates dramatically rallied to upend the Cardinals in the ninth. Stop the season now!
- Hey, hey, listen...The Washington Nationals suck. (HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!) Edit: Finally a Jim Rome reference on SBS.
- If CC Sabathia never pitched again for the Yankees, he'd be the biggest bust in baseball history.
- The Angels shut down the Athletics pretty convincingly, 3-0. Uh, about that AL West pick...
- Matt Kemp is on pace for 162 home runs this season. Hey, someone had to say it.

Bring on Day 2!

ESPN is not a major subscriber to my blog

Today, I watched the Mets-Reds game in its entriety, and was thoroughly entertained. Good pitching, clutch offense, both spectacular and "interesting" defensive highlights...all in all, pretty solid Opening Day game.

But, for some reason, the announcers went the whole three hours without mentioning the fact that this was a "playoff preview." Uh, hello? Did you read my last post? We're looking at a Mets-Reds NLDS in six months! Did they just forget to mention it? Did they not mention it on purpose because they know that I live on the West Coast and the "E" in "ESPN" is widely known among all sports fans to stand for "East"? Or do they just have anti-blogger bias (now known as "blogophobia")? Whatever the reason, they blew a golden opportunity to look like geniuses today. Step ya game up, East Coasters.

Again, please don't bet anything more important than money on these

NL West: Dodgers
NL Central: Reds
NL East: Mets
NL Wild Card: Phillies

AL West: Athletics
AL Central: Indians
AL East: Rays
AL Wild Card: Red Sox

NL MVP: Albert Pujols
NL Cy Young: Johan Santana
NL Rookie of the Year: James McDonald
NL Comeback Player of the Year: Chris Carpenter

AL MVP: Grady Sizemore
AL Cy Young: CC Sabathia
AL Rookie of the Year: Matt Wieters
AL Comeback Player of the Year: Travis Hafner

NLCS: Mets vs. Dodgers

ALCS: Red Sox vs. Athletics

World Series: Dodgers vs. Athletics

World Champion: Los Angeles Dodgers



Looks like it'll be 1988 all over again, so dust off those Die Hard posters, throw on some Whitney Houston, and color your hair purple to complete the effect. Time to play ball!

I saw John Calipari's press conference on three different networks in a five-minute span last night

So a major college coach went from one high-profile program to another. Happens all the time. But based on the news coverage, you would have thought Roy Williams had left UNC to coach the evil Soviet Union Olympic team from 1972. Personally, I don't think Cal is one of the five best college coaches, and Kentucky as of now isn't even on the list of the best programs in the country. Why is this Watergate-level news-worthy?

PS: Annual MLB season preview post to come.