And at #11...Juan Pierre's first home run as a Dodger!

Usually, when Bill Plaschke thinks thoughts and then writes them down, bad things happen. That's never been more true than now, when Plaschke responded to Manny's epic grand slam from the other night:

http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-plaschke24-2009jul24,0,2198246.column

This time, it's not so much his writing style that's stupid and tired (although the one-word paragraphs make me want to puke), but it's what he's writing about. The Manny Granny apparently prompted him to think of other great Dodger home runs, and put them in a list according to, I guess, importance and impact. Or, what should have been importance and impact; in fact, I'm not really sure what he uses as the criteria for the list. Here's the whole thing:

10 The Giants Lose The Pennant, The Giants Lose The. . . . The Giants Lose The Pennant, The Giants Lose The. . . . Mike Piazza hits two home runs on the final day of the 1993 season to knock the Giants out of the playoffs and clinch his Rookie of the Year award.

9 Wrigleyville Blackout. . . . Wrigleyville Blackout. . . . James Loney hits a grand slam in the first game of the 2008 division series against the Chicago Cubs, silencing the Wrigley Field crowd, killing the Cubs' spirit, leading to a stunning three-game sweep and the Dodgers' first postseason series win in 20 years.

8 The Fergie FlashThe Fergie Flash. . . . On the final Friday of the 1980 season, Joe Ferguson hits a 10th-inning walk-off homer against the Houston Astros to spur the Dodgers to a three-game sweep, forcing a one-game playoff against the Astros for the division title.

7 Gibby Before Gibby. . . . Gibby Before Gibby. . . . Gibson could never have pulled off his 1988 World Series heroics if Mike Scioscia didn't nearly equal that feat in Game 4 of the National League Championship series with a ninth-inning, two-run tying homer against New York Mets' ace Dwight Gooden.

6 Sweetest Of All. . . . Sweetest Of All. . . . Sweet Lou Johnson hit a homer for a lifetime, in the fourth inning of Game 7 of the 1965 World Series against the Minnesota Twins, giving Sandy Koufax all he needed in an eventual 2-0 victory.

5 Monday, MondayMonday, Monday. . . . Although he's known more for saving an American flag, don't forget the time Rick Monday saved a National League flag. In the ninth inning of the deciding Game 5 of the National League Championship Series in Montreal, Monday went deep off Steve Rogers to give the Dodgers a 2-1 lead and the eventual victory, which later led to a World Series title.

4 Four Plus One. . . . Four Plus One. . . . It was the first time in the history of Dodgers ninth innings that fans were fighting to get back into the stadium. Of course you remember the four consecutive homers to tie the San Diego Padres, but do you remember the order? Jeff Kent, J.D. Drew, Russell Martin and Marlon Anderson, with the final two coming on the first two pitches from future Hall of Fame closer Trevor Hoffman. The only thing more Hollywood occurred an one inning later, when the Dodgers won the game on a walk-off homer by a guy who initially couldn't play because of a sore leg, one Nomar Garciaparra.

3 BobblebombBobblebomb. . . . The last thing you need to know about the impact of Ramirez's home run is that, in the clubhouse afterward, Casey Blake was boogeying to a celebratory rap song. Yeah, Casey Blake.

2 Disappearing Act. . . . Disappearing Act. . . . I've still never seen the ball that Finley hit to win the division over the Giants on the second-to-last day of the 2004 season, have you? I was there, I was watching, the hit disappeared into the sun above right-center field, Finley jumped up and down, the roar shook Chavez Ravine, I'll never forget the roar. But I never saw that ball, and I wasn't alone, with Vin Scully memorably noting that wherever it was, whenever it came down, the Dodgers would be champions. Of course, the Giants never saw it coming either, leading 3-0 entering the ninth inning before giving up seven Dodgers runs.

1 Gibby Being Gibby. . . . Gibby Being Gibby. . . . More than two decades later, is the improbable becoming the impossible again?

Allow me, on behalf of all Dodger fans, to say: Huh????? What???? I mean, of course Gibby and Finley have to be 1-2, but 3-10 are just...wrong. For one thing, his #10 home run is actually two home runs, and his #4 home run is actually four home runs. And the order is utterly and completely out of whack.

As great and as fabulous and incredible and unlikely as the Manny Granny was, it can't beat out other home runs that came at much more critical times. I'd say that Scioscia's has to be #3, because that was easily the second-least-expected big home run in Dodger history after Gibson, and it was what propelled the Dodgers to the upset NLCS win over the Mets. And Monday's has to be fourth, because it basically won the freaking pennant.

After that, it becomes pretty subjective. I'm strongly in favor of only considering one home run for each spot, and unfortunately there the four-home-run game gets devalued because you either have to pick Nomar's homer (that won the game) or Marlon Anderson's (that was the fourth of four to tie it in the ninth). So maybe you could sneak the Manny Granny in here, but I'm more in favor of this spot belonging to Loney's slam; I mean, all of the air went out of the Cubs' balloon after that. They never even threatened the rest of the series, and that allowed the Dodgers to pull off one of the most shocking playoff sweeps in history. So that's my choice for #5.

Number six is where I put Marlon Anderson's homer. Very few times in my Dodger fanhood have I actually leaped off the couch in joy. Loney's slam did it for me; so did Finley's. And so did Marlon's homer, probably the third-most unlikely big home run in Dodger history. And Plaschke points out that Manny got a "dugout dogpile" as if it had never happened before; Marlon got a much bigger and longer dugout celebration after his shot.

And number seven is where the debate comes in: Nomar's walkoff homer to win the four-home-run game, or Manny's slam? You know, I have to vote Nomar here. What many forget is that the Dodgers, after tying that game in the ninth, immediately fell behind 10-9 in the top of the tenth (and it could have been a lot worse if Kenny Lofton hadn't reeled in a long fly ball at the center-field fence with two on), and losing that game after such an incredible comeback would have scarred many Dodger fans for life. And yes, that was a "leave the couch" moment as well, one that's captured forever in an SI photo on my bedroom wall. So that's number seven.

Then you can stick Manny eighth, and then come the last two spots. I've only ever heard about the Sweet Lou homer in Game 7 in '65, but I guess Plaschke was there for it and knew how important it was, and I should take his word on this choice. (Wow that was tough to say). So that's #9. And at #10, I'm putting Dick Nen's home run against the Cardinals in the 1963 pennant race. Very obviously, I wasn't there to see it, but the story is great: The Dodgers' once-great lead over St. Louis in the NL pennant race falls down to just a couple games. They call up some nobody from nowhere named Dick Nen (father of Robb, by the way) purely to add a little depth to the roster. The Cardinals throw the great Bob Gibson at the Dodgers in an attempt to cut down the lead even more. It's 5-4 Cardinals in the top of the ninth, when Nen (who'd come into the game as a pinch-hitter a few innings prior) comes up with his first career hit and home run, a solo shot to tie the game at 5. The Dodgers go on to win in 13 innings, and the victory propels them to win five out of their next six to easily clinch the pennant. And get this: that home run was Nen's only career hit as a Dodger.

Yeah, Mike Piazza cracking a few homers to eliminate the Giants is cool, but can you really beat that?

Luckily, being a sportswriter means never having to admit you were wrong.

Unluckily, I'm not an "official" sportswriter yet (if you think that having this blog qualifies me in any way as a "writer," then I'm a little frightened for your mental health) and thus, I have to eat crow when I'm wrong. And trust me, after watching last night's game and all the magic that went along with it, I have to come to grips with the fact that I was wrong, dead wrong, about something very important regarding my favorite sports team.

Here's why. This is a link to a post I made on May 7, 2009:

http://allsportsbysam.blogspot.com/2009/05/this-dodger-fans-perspective.html

Jeez. "The Dodgers will struggle to keep a .500 record in Manny's absence..." "Without Manny, the Dodgers are only like 1% better than the rest of the NL West..." "I can see Ned and Frank doing all they can to keep Manny from exercising his player option for 2010..." "I can see myself agonizing over how I can root for the team without rooting for Manny..." (and the kicker) "So, in the end, I guess this steroid news has made me question my love of baseball, my love of the Dodgers, and my love of Manny, while basically ensuring that it's going to be a tough time for me to be a Dodger fan until the year 2011." Yeah, except it's only been my favorite year to follow the Dodgers since I started becoming a hardcore fan in 2002. That's all. That's all I was wrong about. And you wonder why the sports editor of my high school paper didn't like me.

In case you're wondering what all of this is about, then you obviously didn't see the highlights of their game against the Reds yesterday. Manny Ramirez was out of the game with a sore hand, as he'd gotten hit by a pitch in the previous game and even had to go to the hospital to get it checked out. Dodger fans across the country nearly died from holding their breath before tests came back negative and revealed that Manny would just be day-to-day with his injury. Still, it would be enough to keep him out of the starting lineup the next day against the Reds, coincidentally on Manny Ramirez Bobblehead Day (and if you don't think that ESPN played up that angle so much that it became simply nauseating to watch, you obviously haven't watched much ESPN). Dodger fans, of course, were initially disappointed that Manny was out of the lineup, as I guess simply being able to watch a 60-34 team rolling toward possibly the best regular season record in franchise history wasn't enough for them. But they would get satisfaction, and a lot of it. With the game tied 2-2 in the bottom of the sixth, Russell Martin singled to load the bases with one out and bring up the pitcher's spot. Mark Loretta had been standing in the on-deck circle, but when Martin got his hit, Manny emerged from the dugout instead as the crowd exploded. Dusty Baker tried to ice the fans with a pitching change, but it didn't matter. On new pitcher Nick Masset's first offering, Manny took a giant hack and hit a scorching line drive straight into the heart of Mannywood, giving the Dodgers a 6-2 lead and the eventual win. Vin Scully would later say that they he hadn't heard the crowd as loud as it was during Manny's home run trot for 20 years. The rest of the Dodgers reacted as if Manny had just hit the fourth of four straight home runs to tie a game in the ninth. Manny took an unprecedented two curtain calls, which according to Vin Scully had never happened before at Dodger Stadium. I'm telling you, this was an amazing, fantastic, incredible moment, one that makes you realize why you love sports in the first place.

And yeah, I cheered in my living room. I clapped. I had my hands behind my head in joyful disbelief. Does that contradict everything I wrote about Manny when shit originally when down on May 7? A little, yeah. I mean, if he'd played this entire season out without the steroids, I would have felt unabased joyfulness and complete satisfaction after his slam. But considering the circumstances, I'd have to say that my joy was somewhat...restrained. I wanted to take Manny back and forgive and forget, but some things you just can't forgive. He did something stupid and immoral, and I can never really accept him as a favorite player or even a favorite Dodger after what he did (in case you're wondering, yeah, Ethier's my favorite Dodger now just like he was on May 7; unlike most Dodger fans, I can forgive guys who slump every once in a while). In time, I have definitely softened my views on the matter; it's pretty clear that Manny wasn't cheating his whole career, because he never got huge one day like Barry Bonds and his numbers never really started jumping at one point. And even if he was...well, so what, there are steroid users on every team, and there are people that do things to get ahead in every job in every facet of life. I'm definitely not completely excusing him, of course, and I'm still mad at him, but to make him out to be a devil in a group of angels was definitely an exaggeration.

And the main reason why I've softened is this, which my dad helped me see: comparing Bonds to Manny is ridiculous because Bonds was a DICK. Everyone he ever played with hated him (his Arizona State teammates famously refused to play if he was let on the team). He was cold to everyone around him, pompous, cocky, and downright mean. He was a terrible teammate (when amphetamines were found in his locker, he blamed their presence on Mark Sweeney, only of the nicest and purest guys in baseball). He openly criticized reporters every chance he got, giving them no good quotes and acting like they were completely beneath him. He was just a dark shadow in every sense of the word, a walking embodiment of everything wrong with baseball and sports. Manny? He's a grown-up kid. He's nice to fans, all of his teammates adore him, he's polite and quirky to reporters (if you can win over TJ Simers, you're pretty fucking kind and accepting), and while he can be pompus and cocky, he comes off as still loving the game of baseball and working his ass off to stay good at it. Yes, he cheated like Bonds did, and that's bad. But because he's such a good and likeable guy, you forgive a lot faster. And it helps that Bonds cheated so that he could earn a lot of money and a lot of everlasting glory (breaking the all-time home-run record), whereas Manny probably did it just for the money. Still bad, but nowhere near as bad as Bonds' intentions.

So where do I come out on Manny after his most recent display of Being Manny? Well, after forcing myself to be restrained in my cheering for these first few weeks of him being back, I'll now go back to treating him like any other player on the Dodgers; I'll cheer him when he does something good and shake my head in frustration when he does something bad, instead of being nonchalant when he does something good and critical when he does something bad. Was it this one grand slam that did it? No; it's everything he's done since he returned, which includes a torrid hot streak and a handful of huge home runs...all clean, because even the biggest idiot in the world wouldn't continue taking steroids after already getting busted for them. He's showing that his entire career, and his entire Dodger career, wasn't a fluke, and that's been very reassuring to me and my memories of the 2008 squad. So I guess my opinion of Manny got a lot higher, although it can't ever go back to the way it was on May 6th, 2009 (which feels like 10 years ago, by the way). It's something, anyway. Go Dodgers...and Manny, too.

Don't...stop...believin'?

Apparently, because not only did Schmidt not get bombed, he actually pitched kinda sorta well. He gave up three runs in five innings, but all of those came in the first, and at least one was due to iffy defense behind him. Sure, he had more walks (3) than strikeouts (2), but he didn't even give up a grand slam or a bases-loaded hit-by-pitch, which I was fully expecting. And he picked up the win, his second as a Dodger and first in 28 months. Frankly, this 2009 Dodger season has thrown me completely, completely off. Up is down, black is white, right is left, etc. If Brett Favre came out of retirement to play for the Dodgers and then threw a complete-game shutout to clinch the pennant, I'd probably just shrug (although ESPN would explode). It's been that kind of a year, ya know?

But seriously

Jason Schmidt is starting for the Dodgers tonight. For God's sake, the last time he started a game for the Dodgers, nobody had ever heard of Twitter, the Jonas Brothers, or the Tampa Bay Rays. People still used Myspace! I mean, come ON!

Still, the Dodgers have to try to get something out of their $47 million investment, although I'm not entirely sure what they can hope for. Schmidt is now 36 years old, and has barely limped his way through a few months of pitching to minor league hitters to get to this point. It'd be a miracle if he could survive five innings again at the major league level, let alone make any kind of discernable impact. Maybe Ned Colletti's hoping that he can throw a no-hitter, win the deciding game of the World Series, or come off the bench in the ninth inning to hit a two-run walkoff homer off Mariano Rivera with two bad legs? I'm not sure. The wise "baseball move," of course, would be to cut Schmidt loose and give someone like Scott Elbert or Josh Lindblom a shot at the fifth starter job, but neither of those guys even make $470,000, let alone ten times that, so fuck all that noise. I guess I seriously have to hope that Schmidt does well. Hell, if the LA Clippers can trade Zach Randolph without having to include Blake Griffin and their next 17 lottery picks, anything's possible.

...Huh? Wha? WHAAAAAA??? OKAY! I'M AWAKE! I'M AWAKE!

Yep, all it took was a legitimate Jason Schmidt major league comeback to jostle me out of the three-week posting coma I had nestled myself in. I feel a little cheated to have missed out on writing about many landmark events that occurred during my time off (the Now Officially Insane Ron Artest signing with the Lakers, all 50 of Manny's different "returns," a fourth-of-July baseball/father-son bonding excursion in Southern California that was fucking awesome, three different marquee free agents turning down the suddenly fatheaded Blazers, etc), but I'm sure that I'll make up for all of that soon. For starters: expect at least ten different snarky/sarcastic responses to Jay-Schizz's inevitable "1.1 IP, 8 H, 7 BB, 10 ER" debut tomorrow night.

(That is, once I lure my typing limbs out of atrophy, of course.)