It's really cool when the Blazers win on dramatic buzzer-beating 30-footers

But that also means that we have to listen to Brian Wheeler's patented high-pitched homer squeals:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlBq-qXUdcs

If the Blazers ever win on a flukey length-of-the-court prayer shot, Wheeler would probably shit and piss himself at the same time before screaming so loud that both backboards shatter and Mike Rice's head explodes. Stay tuned to all close Blazer games to prepare for this scenario.