NBA Draft tomorrow

I think my dad would watch a six-hour darts tournament backwards before he'd watch the NBA Draft, but I actually find the draft interesting. I can easily explain to you why I have so much more enthusiasm than my dad: I actually know who the players in the draft are, whereas my dad probably couldn't tell Earl Clark from Dick Clark. Here's the thing: I love college hoops. I watch as many games as I can during the season, and I actually cancel plans and get out of work to watch the first round of March Madness every year. Do I do that for the first round of the NBA playoffs, the NFL playoffs, or even the MLB playoffs? No way. College basketball is the only sport that can absolutely suck me in.

So I've heard of all these guys, as I've seen them all play, and therefore I think I have a pretty good idea of which players are going to be good and which players are going to be bad. That's what makes it so much fun for me; for example, in 2007, I knew that Kevin Durant was going to be great and Greg Oden might or might not ever be, and watching Portland pick Oden over Durant on Draft Day was both hilarious and exasperating at the same time. That's how I'll feel this year when some team picks Jrue Holiday over Stephen Curry; that mixture of, "Wow, what dumbasses!" and "Ugh, I feel so bad for that team's fans!" just gives me a rush, I guess.

And that's the other really fun part of the draft: watching teams screw up their selections by taking unproven foreign guys, underacheiving "freakishly athletic" guys who sucked in college, untalented 7-foot white guys with no mobility, etc. One of my favorite teams to follow in this regard is the Minnesota Timberwolves, whose draft futility peaked in 2006 when they drafted Brandon Roy sixth overall and then almost immediately traded him straight-up to the Blazers for Randy Foye, who the Blazers had just picked seventh. They, along with the Knicks, Kings, Clippers, and probably a few other teams, just make for great Draft Day TV. Unfortunately, as the Wolves have six of the first 50 picks this year (#5, #6, #18, #28, #45, #47), it's a foregone conclusion that they'll find a player who won't completely suck. Or is it? Here's my prediction for who they'll take with those picks:

#5: Charles Barkley
#6: J.D. from Scrubs
#18: Brett Favre
#28: Spencer and Heidi's baby
#45: Manny Being Manny
#47: Incredibly, Blake Griffin, as he falls all the way down to here due to signability concerns. (Griffin will shed tears of joy at finally being picked, then will confidently toss on his T-Wolves lid and proclaim himself a "Timberwolf for Life." Shortly thereafter, Minnesota will trade Griffin and their next 15 first-round picks to the Lakers for Adam Morrison.)

Can't wait to see it all unfold tomorrow!