1. Listening to Joe Buck announce a Sewing Contest For The Elderly
2. Painting a door white and then watching it dry
3. Counting the blades of grass in your yard
4. Watching a five-hour silent romance movie from the 1920s
5. Cleaning your entire swimming pool with a toothbrush
6. Going to Starbucks and ordering a regular coffee
7. Writing a 90-page graduate paper in a dead language
8. Imagining the perfect cloud
9. Buying a gray T-shirt
10. Watching the World Championships of Darts
11. Staring at a blank wall
12. Everything in the fucking world. Seriously, I'm almost ready to give up on ESPN. The banter and commentary on your average episode of "Sportscenter" or "Baseball Tonight" or "NFL Live" is painfully, painfully awful. My dad is currently boycotting ESPN probably from some kind of "Price is Right"-themed show that NBA Live once did, and I may not be far behind him if this relentless coverage of non-stories continues. Can't Fox Sports just have a 24-hour highlight channel?
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